Vice-Regal Saint: The Monarchist Supports Lord Black
The Monarchist is "dedicated to the support of Conrad Moffat Black in his current battle with grandstanding U.S. prosecutors and a hostile left-wing press. More than that, it is our grateful and long overdue acknowledgement of His Lordship's life's struggle to confront, with unflagging courage, the Brobdingnagian forces of Canadian small-mindedness, parochialism, mediocrity and failure.
From the outset, let us be clear about several matters concerning The Ad Hoc Committee for Conrad Black. First, none of us boasts the pleasure of knowing His Lordship personally, nor are we beholden to him in any manner, financial or otherwise. Several amongst us, however, have had the honour of an introduction to and a fleeting conversation with His Lordship in one social context or another.
No, we are not, strictly speaking, "friends of Conrad Black." We are simply admirers of the man, beneficiaries in the broadest sense of his commitment to excellence, and -- dare we say -- fans of his indomitable style. Whatever transpires in the life of His Lordship over the next few months, he shall remain a blazing beacon of hope to those of us on this dull and dreary northern plain."
- An Appeal from the Ad Hoc Committee for Conrad Black
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24 comments:
Pretty funny satire!
It took me a while to realize that it was a joke, but looking back, the language is too ludicrous to have been seriously intended as support for Mr. Black.
If this isn't satire do you really hate Canadians that much? Conrad Black is neither hero nor villian. He has a lot of money and has an outstanding command of the English language but like everyone else has faults. If indeed it is true that he took money illegally from public companies in which he had controlling interest in then lord or not lord, my respect disappears very quickly.
Right on! Join us as well in our support of Jeff Skilling and Kenneth Lay, victims both of heavy-handed government crushing the will of the lowly CEOs - yes, the lowly CEOs... who only wish to f*ck off with billions, and live out their natural lives on yachts in the Bahamas. Why oh why do the lowly plebes complain so? Can't they see that these are just BETTER people than they?
If good monarchists supports "Con"rad Black then I am forced to become republican.
I am afraid I am not familiar with the case, or the man. Can one of my colleagues enlighten me as to Lord Black and his bona fides?
Free Conrad!
Always be suspicious of people who claim to speak for and politically represent "all monarchists". They never have and never will - only in their own overblown and rather vain imaginations. For Monarchy is open to all as it is politically impartial and neutral. It is above individual people and parties. That is why it has survived so long.
Dear Reverend Swift:
To call Lord Black a monarchist, traditionalist or conservative would be an injustice and a gross understatement. More like medievalist and a one-man regiment with an arrogance that borders on Napoleonic. He likes to dress up as Cardinal Richelieu at dinner parties, he knows the minute by minute position of ships in all of England's great sea battles, he devised his own family coat of arms and had it heraldically approved...contemporaries consider him absurd and entertaining, but respect his intellect and gravitate to his stature. Reporters joke about bringing their thesauruses and dictionaries to interview him: he's not pedantic, but he tends to use obscure language that we peasants need to look up.
Conrad Black follows in the footsteps of Lord Beaverbrook and Lord Thompson of Fleet, Canadian media tycoons who own chunks of Fleet Street and numerous dailies in the English-speaking world. He owned the Daily Telegraph, Chicago Sun-Times, Jerusalem Post...Rupert Murdoch's arch-nemesis. When he attempted to receive his peer, the Canadian government under the rather thuggish Jean Chretien blocked him on the false pretense (see Nickle Resolution, a 1919 parliamentary motion that has no legal force or effect) that Canadians are not permitted to recieve titular honours/positions from Her Majesty. For this, he was ridiculed in the Canadian left-wing press as "Lord Almost" and "Lord Nearly-Nearly". The reality is that he created a new Canadian daily called the National Post in 1998 that was highly critical of the Liberal PM. He sued for petulance and lost, renounced his citzenship, and became a Lord. He still carries a passport for being a member of the Queen's Privy Council of Canada, and is now trying to regain his citizenship now that the Liberals are gone.
He's now being charged with defrauding shareholders in the United States for receiving direct noncompete payments worth millions when his company (he was chairman and controlling shareholder) sold off some papers. This is a company he built from scratch into a multi-billion enterprise. The question for the jury is did he deserve those payments himself, or should they have gone to the company. The reality is that if you buy a newspaper from Conrad Black, you would be wise to pay him not to compete with you, so was he deserving or should it have gone to shareholders, which was mostly him anyways. I believe he's on trial for his arrogance more than anything, but it's a witch's brew. U.S. prosecutors are trying to throw the book at him like he's Enron or something, when at worst he's Martha Stewart. We shall see.
In my opinion he should not have been so dismissive of shareholder interests even though he made them oodles over the years, nor should he have railed against the corporate governance "fascists", as if there was nothing to do in the wake of Enron and Worldcom. But the real crime is how the new board took control of the company and pissed it all away in legal fees against Black, whilst paying themselves millions in bonuses. He drove them bananas and they drove the company into the ground. But that's the nature of the man: People either hate him or admire him, never apologetic and always compelling.
Didn't get it all in the first time, I'm afraid. He's also an Anglospherist and a damn fine historian, author and columnist. He unapologetically subscribes to the "great man" approach to history.
My apologies for insinuating that all of us support him, or that all monarchists support him, when I'm clearly only speaking on behalf of myself. Please consider it an editorial, not a unanimous pledge of support.
Methinks you do get carried away with the sight of ermine (overly so). For in Britain a peerage is only a gift that is given on the recommendation of a political party - like a knighthood. A recommendation usually made after someone has been useful to "political" life in Britain.
I therefore completely fail to see the significance for monarchists and I am glad you now do too. For Her Majesty only agrees to the honour (in the same way as she agrees to new legislation). She does not personally compile The Honours List (in the same way as she does not put together legislation). I hope that is all clear.
Remember that not all monarchists agree with certain political views or opinions either. He may personally be a monarchist, but then who isn't? Adolf Hitler admired the monarchy, should we post some articles about him outlining his personal ideas and the need for a new holocaust? Methinks you do our wider cause no favours by trying to link monarchy with divisive irrelevance.
This is not a monarchist league, Neil, like Monarchy Wales or the Monarchist League of Canada. This is a blog, and you have been invited. We are all free to tastefully write as we please, to promote our heroes, discuss politics, celebrate the crown, defend our culture, to express yourself at your heart's content. Consider it a relief on what talents and interests each of us has to offer. You don't like Lord Black or Lady Thatcher, fine. Tell us who you do admire and let us go from there.
You.
Fighting with flattery. Effective. You're right of course: I do have an Old World fetish for medievalist poltroons in satin breeches, powdered whigs and ermine collars. I can't help myself.
I will now explain to you why...
Let me explain why. For you are someone who makes a great difference. You change people's lives for the better - not for the worse. You brighten the morning and give hope to the disheartened. You lift the spirits and bring a smile to the face. You stand up for what you believe in. You also take fierce criticism along the way. Yet you are a voice for the voiceless and for the vulnerable. The meek and the poor feel much protection under your strong wings.
All my life I have always admired people like that. The little people or the outsiders. Forgive me then if I do not swoon at the thought of political power. If I do not slit a throat to gain an advantage. Forgive me if I don't stamp on your face to grab an opportunity, or place a blade in your back for your money and possessions. Forgive me if I kneel down before you. If I thank God for both of our lives. For you and I will not be here forever. My life, like your life, will be too fleeting. It will soon past and I will return once again to dust.
This is why I admire people like Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther-King and Mahatma Gandhi - to name but a few. You know the change makers. For they stood up and spoke out. Acted on their heart and conscience, as well as their mind. For they brought hope to the weak and lifted them up. They didn't tread on the meek or elbow the poor. They didn't walk past on the other side. They looked out for a brother and held him close. Brought comfort to him when there were tears. For they said your concern is my concern, your sadness is now my sadness, your hope is now my hope. They did not turn away and have a good laugh when others suffered. They were the first to kneel and bow down before the poor.
For these are the true patriots. They respect the past but they don't live in it. They don't seek the reflected glory of famous leaders or politicians. Yet they do listen to the voices of old. The voices handed down to us by our forefathers. The voices that mattered. The ancient voices now dead - that message from God and beyond.
For these are the people who realise that the future holds more than the past ever could. That the dreams for our children and grandchildren are worth more than the base ambitions of men. As with them, all these things don't make me Left, Right or Liberal. They don't make me right, wrong or better than you. They make me who I am. A human being with flaws like any man. A human being who offers his hand and calls you friend.
Mr. Welton, I hear Tony Blair is looking for a speech-writer with just your talent.
(Says Swift, withdrawing onion from pocket, furrowing brow, biting lip).
I apologise for being off topic, Lord Beaverbrook, but on your new website, I cannot find an email link to you. I have an article that you may find interesting. Is there link, or am I just blind?
Cheers,
An onion? Should I even try to follow that?
Do you know this is a joke site?
The email is under Proud Tower, Splendor, or just email to themonarchist@rogers.com
Look forward to it.
Beaverbrook
Burton favours Lady Black's lovely calves. Beyond that he is not prepared to take sides in a Trafalgar of colliding egos. The calves, however, receive unreserved approbation.
Burton
Email inbound!
Sir Francis Burton, do please send me your email. I am going to send you an invitation whether you like it or not.
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