Sixty Joyless De-Britished Uncrowned Commonpoor Years (1949-2009)

Elizabeth II Vice-Regal Saint: Remembering Paul Comtois (1895–1966), Lt.-Governor of Québec
Britannic Inheritance: Britain's proud legacy. What legacy will America leave?
English Debate: Daniel Hannan revels in making mince meat of Gordon Brown
Crazy Canucks: British MP banned from Canada on national security grounds
Happy St. Patrick's: Will Ireland ever return to the Commonwealth?
Voyage Through the Commonwealth: World cruise around the faded bits of pink.
No Queen for the Green: The Green Party of Canada votes to dispense with monarchy.
"Sir Edward Kennedy": The Queen has awarded the senator an honorary Knighthood.
President Obama: Hates Britain, but is keen to meet the Queen?
The Princess Royal: Princess Anne "outstanding" in Australia.
H.M.S. Victory: In 1744, 1000 sailors went down with a cargo of gold.
Queen's Commonwealth: Britain is letting the Commonwealth die.
Justice Kirby: His support for monarchy almost lost him appointment to High Court
Royal Military Academy: Sandhurst abolishes the Apostles' Creed.
Air Marshal Alec Maisner, R.I.P. Half Polish, half German and 100% British.
Cherie Blair: Not a vain, self regarding, shallow thinking viper after all.
Harry Potter: Celebrated rich kid thinks the Royals should not be celebrated
The Royal Jelly: A new king has been coronated, and his subjects are in a merry mood
Victoria Cross: Australian TROOPER MARK DONALDSON awarded the VC
Godless Buses: Royal Navy veteran, Ron Heather, refuses to drive his bus
Labour's Class War: To expunge those with the slightest pretensions to gentility
100 Top English Novels of All Time: The Essential Fictional Library
BIG BEN: Celebrating 150 Years of the Clock Tower

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

The Chap Olympiad

The Beijing Olympics won't have to compete with this. The Chaps very gentlemanly and sportingly chose to hold their Games earlier, so as to not hog any official air time. The chaps of course are fellow esteemed members of the cultural counter-revolution, whose lack of athletic abilities is amply made up by their sartorial prowness.

1The annual event is hosted by Chaps Magazine - the bible for traditional gentlemen who are against the vulgarity of modern culture. The opening ceremony includes the lighting of the Olympic pipe.

9Teams compete to mix a dry martini, with the handicap of having no butler to do it for them. Such is the athleticism of the Chap Olympics.

c5_737375nThe Chap movement was created in 1999 by Hampstead-born Gustav Temple in an attempt to "stand against the horrible culture at the time" including lad's magazines and wearing too much sportswear.

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Let the Contest Begin

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The Pipe Smoking Relay

100204638.wN5yaRsPIn the Pipe Relay a lit pipe is passed between teams of three along a gruelling 100-yard course. Wearing any kind of sportswear at the games results in instant disqualification.

5
Any chap - or lady - of worth smokes a pipe.

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This lad demonstrates his skills in the Cucumber Sandwich Discus Toss

3Michael "Atters" Attree is grooming editor for Chaps. For him being a "chap" is a way of life, not a hobby. He dresses like a gentleman everyday. His event was the three-trousered limbo, where participants share enormous trousers and must wriggle under a pole. Another event, 'Bounders', involve six cads who approach six ladies and behave atrociously, with the winner being the recipient of the loudest slap.

7A quill is thrown at a target as poetry is read out. Extra points are awarded for epic, metaphysical or absurdist verse.

8Ladies astride their equine-attired mounts race each other, with some surprise hurdles along the way.

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Judge my Shrub

12The prize? Gold, silver and bronze cravats of course, among other things.

Hat tip: The Classic Canadian

8 comments:

Beaverbrook said...

The counter revolution will be complete once we can dress that way without the buffoonery. First I ever heard of the Chap Olympics. Hilarious.

J.K. Baltzersen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J.K. Baltzersen said...

Sir,

What great stuff! Great photos. I especially liked the photo with the two gentlemen with the dark hats. There may be some connection to my having both kinds of the hats.

I do hate to do some nitpicking, but I feel compelled to. An Olympiad is a period of time -- not an event.

Sir Walter Scott said...

Beaverbrook has it quite astutely I think. I enjoy the tomfoolery. But there is something a little disheartening in it; and you are right - the counter-revolution will be complete when that element has, in fact, been eliminated, enjoyable as it is now.

One day everyone will stop dressing like children. And that won't be extraordinary.

Lord Best said...

There will still be a place for the Chaps when the revolution is complete. We will become the eccentrics instead of the front line soldiers. (I am a subscriber)

Beaverbrook said...

If the revolution is complete, by definition you will no longer be an eccentric. We are talking about the counter revolution, whereby our slob casual culture learn to once again dress like men.

Lord Best said...

That is undeniably true, but believe me, the average chap will find a way of standing out, even when mainstream society re-embraces traditional values and fashions. Even if it is just an abnormally ostentatious crevat.

J.K. Baltzersen said...

One day everyone will stop dressing like children. And that won't be extraordinary.

It is awful how so many these days so unashamedly show their underwear in public.